random monolog

February 14, 2010

dekat sama mama abah..jauh dari sayang.

cuti raye cine.
hepi chinese nu year..
so,skang kat umah la.
rindu kat mama..
haih..
tapi pon rindu kat matahari..
hais..





kenapalah saya xdapat due2?
hurm?

February 08, 2010

tatap matamu.



gelap gelita,mentari datang,menyebar cahaya,merebak bahagia,pegang tangan,jalan bersama,pandang aku dan ucapkan cinta.

February 04, 2010

tentang seseorang.

"Already Gone"





Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
It never would have work out right, yeah
We were never meant for do or die
I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt you now I can't stop

I want you to know
That it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
But someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you wanna cry
It started with the perfect kiss then
We could feel the poison set in
"Perfect" couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go

You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on
So I'm already gone
Ahhh already gone, already gone, already gone
Ahhh already gone, already gone, already gone

Remember all the tings we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on
So I'm already gone

February 03, 2010

aku rindu,sayang kamu.


hitam-hitam si tampuk manggis makin hitam, haih..makin manis..



saya sayang encik matahari..
sebab die best...........
pahtu die selalu x mandi=)
pahtu die selalu kutuk saye=)
pahtu die selalu puji pompuan lain depan saye=)
pahtu die suke bawak saye pegi jalan-jalan.=)
pahtu die selalu makan dengan saye=)
pahtu die suke bawak saye makan pizza=)
pahtu die suke saye sangat-sangat walaupon saye hitam=)
pahtu die kacak=)=)=)=)=)=)

tapi sem depan die sudah keje..
nati saye rase dah tak best=(
nati saye dah tak boleh bau busuk die=(
nati xde sape na kutuk saye macam die kutuk saye=(
nati xde sape na puji pompuan lain depan saye=(
nati xde sape na bwk saye jalan-jalan=(
nati saye xpat makan ngan die selalu=(
nati xde sape na bwk saye g makan pizza=(=(=(=(=(
tapi die tetap akan suke saye walau saye hitam kan????


February 01, 2010

pandang matahari mata pun bergenang.

pandang-pandang si mathari.
makin di pandang makin berseri.


lately ni selalu dgr org curang.dari first love aku mase skolah dulu aku tak pernah fikir pon pasal bende macam ni.tapi dah makin tue ni makin byk bende merepek aku pikir.aku pernah mencintai,aku pernah dicintai(mungkin),pernah di tinggalkn,pernah meninggalkan.

bile aku start cintakan seseorg aku anggap tu perasaan aku.aku ade hak.bile aku tinggalkan org aku fikir org tu bukan jodoh aku.so aku pon blah.biasanye aku blah ade sebab la kan.org lain pon mesti gak camtu.ade sekali aku blah dr org sebab org tu jarang dapat msg/kol/jumpe aku.pastu aku akan suke plak kat org yang selalu msg/kol/jumpe aku.tapi bile dpt pula aku akan merungut mls msg/kol/jumpe..haih..

aku tak tau perempuan lain.tapi macam diri aku sendiri aku jarang boleh bersyukur ngan pe yang aku ade.selalunya aku mahukan yang lebih baik dari pe yang aku dah dapat.pastu bile dah dapat,aku still xpuas hati jugak.

haih..sape boleh ajarkan aku bersyukur?

January 28, 2010

memandang yang lepas..

mungkin saya masih berharap semua di kembalikan pada saya.
angan2 saya melangit kan?
kejap lagi saya akan sedar dr mimpi..

January 20, 2010

if u want to leave now.just leave.

im not giving up.
im just trying to look cool and strong enough to live without you.
i want you to leave without worries.
i will begging you in silent that you can't hear what i'll said.
a second after i can't see your back,i'll cry like im dying.

but please.take care of yourself darling.













i wrote this for someone who will leave me.i dont know who..perhaps not the one i love.

January 19, 2010

tolong la..dont be sarcatism.

bila ko anggap diri ko kawan aku ko xpatut...

1. ajak aku keluar malam balik rumah kau bile mak bapak kau xde kat rumah..
2. bile aku tolak ajakan kau,kau xpatut ckp "member da ade bf,da x igt kat aku"
3. kamon la bro..sekali aku ckp xna,so aku xna la..jgn msg hari2 tulis"kuk,aku na culik ko mlm ni bley"(he prefer to call me kuk=mangkuk,but i still think he is my best fren).
4. bile aku ckp aku syg kau x bermaksud aku na peluk cium kau.

ok,kau boleh ckp dulu aku x mcm ni pon..
aku akn jawab,bile kau da anggap "kawan baik" kau ni pelepas nafsu kau..sori..kau salah org.

tolong la..na kawan,kawan la..
bile aku ckp aku da ade bf,how come kau na culik aku bwk balik umah mlm2.
kalo awek ko wat cmtu ko xmara ke?
ko boleyh plak jwb...

"eleh kuk,ko na setia plak.blah la.."

ok..fine kalo pandangan kau kat aku da berubah sebab aku suke kuar ngn laki..aku jawab..
aku akan kuar dgn laki yg masih aku aku kwn dye je..x lebih dari tu.
paham??

tolongla..aku x kisah ko na anggap aku pompuan mcm mane pon..mmg aku x baek.aku jahat.
tapi sekurg2nye aku x hipokrit mcm org lain..
aku tunjuk prangai aku..
x sorok2..

bile aku belajar utk setia boleh x ko jgn kutuk aku.
aku tau kalau aku setia pon blm tentu lagi bf aku setia.
maybe die akn tgglkn aku jgk bile dye da dpt cari yg lagi bagus dr aku..

waktu tu aku xkn menyesal.sebab aku aggp tu karma..
kalau aku pernah tgglkn org sblm ni.
kalau aku pernah curang dgn org sebelum ni.
kenapa bf aku sekarang x boleh buat bende yang same kat aku?
karma..
tp..bagi aku peluang utk belajar setia.
tolong la..
kau kawan aku kan?
jgn sampai aku lupe yang kau pernah jadi kawan baik aku..

January 18, 2010

yang saye jumpe balik dalam memory card lame.

sometimes i find myself sittin' back and reminiscing.
especially when i have to watch other people kissin'.
and i remember when u started callin' me your miss's.
all the play fightin',all the flirtatious disses.
i'd tell u sad stories bout my childhood.
i don't why i trusted u,but i knew that i could.
we'd spend the whole weekend lying in your own dirt.
i was just so happy in your boxers an your t-shirt.

dreams,dreams.
of when we had just started things.
dreams of you and me.
it seems,it seems.
that can't shake those memories.
i wonder if you have the same dreams too.

the littlest things that take me there.
i know it sounds lame but its so true.
i know its not right,but it seems unfair.
that the things are reminding me of you.
sometimes i wish we could just pretend.
even if only for one weekend.
so come on, tell me.
is this the end?

drinkin' tea in bed,watching dvd's.
when i discovered all your dirty grotty magazines.
you take me out shopping and all we buy is trainers.
as if we ever needed anything to entertain us.
the first time that u introduced me to your friends
and u could tell i was nervous,so u held my hand.
when i was feeling down,u made that face u do.
there's no one in the world could replace u.


dreams,dreams.
of when we had just started things.
dreams of you and me.
it seems,it seems.
that can't shake those memories.
i wonder if you have the same dreams too.

the littlest things that take me there.
i know it sounds lame but its so true.
i know its not right,but it seems unfair.
that the things are reminding me of you.
sometimes i wish we could just pretend.
even if only for one weekend.
so come on, tell me.
is this the end?




i was cried when i hear this song again yesterday.

January 13, 2010

kalau la..

figure 1:ahmad kamarul saye ngah wat muke konon2 comel..(mmg pon)



kalau la saye ade ahmad kamarul yang pay attention bile saye ckp.



kalau la saye ade ahmad kamarul yang selalu gelak bile saye cerite bende klaka walaupon dye x rase klaka.



kalau la saye ade ahmad kamarul yang x suke balik kelantan tgglkn saye.



kalau la saye ade ahmad kamarul yang x suke g piza ow mcd drive thru melainkan saye ajak die.(sebab dye suke kakak cantek yang cakap,"terime kaseh,datang lagi!!")
hurm..





bersyukurlah nox.hui..
saye sayang beliau.


notakaki:post nih mcm gedik gile..huh..

January 07, 2010

dinda rindu.

si bintang pulang.
tinggal dinda seorg.
moga esok lekas datang.
temukan dinda pada si bintang.

January 06, 2010

5 benda saye benci pasal diri saya.

1. saya cepat suka pada org,tapi....saya takut ckap.

2.bile saya da admit saya suke org..org tu wat hal.saya cepat marah,tapi...saya takut na marah tepat depan muke org tuh.

3.bile saya ade duit..saya suke bg org pinjam,tapi...saya xde duit lepas tu.

4.bile saya da kering langsung duit,saya na mintak balik duit tu,tapi....sayea takut.pastu halalkan je.

5.bile saya rasa sakit,saya slalu wat muke kesian n harap org pujuk saya.tapi...biasenye xde org kisah pon saye merajuk.

December 30, 2009

i wish u hepi nu yer.

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jangan tanya ape azam saya.
saye xpernah tunaikan pon.
so..
saya xmau berazam tahun nih..

dah lah..cukup2 lah tu..

cukup la..
mungkin bagi kamu x cukup lagi.
tapi bagi aku sudah sgt sakit..
mungkin bagi kamu x cukup lagi.
tapi lihatlah aku sudah terduduk menangis.

cukup la..
kau mahu canangkan pada siapa lagi?
yang kau jerit2kan di hujung sana sudah terdengarkan semua di sini..
mahu di apakan lagi..

kau mahu semua org faham yang aku ini sebenar2nye bajingan.
kau mahu semua org faham yang sebenarnya kau mangsa dan aku paling jahat dalam dunia..
xperlu kau jerit terlolong..
nanti aku sendiri khabarkan pada mereka..

kau mahu matahari marahkan aku..
x..dia xkan marahkan aku..
dia tinggalkan aku..
puas x hati kau?
tolong lah..
puaskan hati kau setakat ini saja..

December 29, 2009

rtw 9,26 dec 2009.





dan saya terus sayang kan matahari..
rtw aritu yang paling best.
sebab slalunye saye jeet n cie akn gi bertiga je.
tapi hari tu berenam.
lengkap.=)sumpah saya sayang mereka.

December 22, 2009

baru sya tahu bila hati saya pon sakit.

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serve your right nox!
kau paling teruk.
time ko letak pitc matahari depan mata dia kau x fikir perasaan dia.
sekarang kau rase la nox..
jangan nangis sekarang.
tak gune langsung..
kau yang bodoh.
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saya benci diri saya dan sekarang saya dah mule benci seluruh hidup saya..
harap awak cepat cepat bahagia.

December 21, 2009

x dapat gi rtw..

eh..bukan saya x pat g rtw..
en matahari..
hurm..
xbest plak bile die xpat g..
tapi slalu pon saya mang xpenah g ngan laki/bf..
rtw kali ni jeet xpat dtg..weng pon rasenye xpat dtg..
xpe2..
cie ade..




konsert rosak tu pon cam best jugak sebenarnye..
hui...

December 20, 2009

saya bodoh sebab..

sebab saya rase rindu tahap langit semalam.utk hilangkn rase itu saye call en matahari.tapi en matahari mengantuk.jadi saya call dia.saya bodoh lagi sebab saya tak terpikir kalau saya call dia saya bagi dia harapan setinggi langit lagi.saya bodoh dan bodoh lagi sebab saya call dia dan cakap saya rindukan dia.saya bodoh dan bodoh dan bodoh lagi sebab saya menangis bila dengar dia bersuara.







saya bodoh sebab saya x reti jaga hati org yang saya sayang.
en matahari..maafkan saya.

December 19, 2009

...

baru balik dr kelantan.
best.
best sangat.
sebab sentiasa dekat sama en matahari.
shopping kat kb mall.
g jalan2 kat parkson.
tengok2 kat billion.
........

cuti yang sempurna.

"winkwink"

December 16, 2009

i am from kelantan.

title xde kene mengene nga post nih..
huhu..
mlm ni balik kelantan.
ahmad kamarul merajuk kalau saye x ikot..
hui..





p/s:ahmad kamarul sama dgn matahari=)sweet x saye?
huhui..